I hAtE mYsElF!!!

i hate myself, i hate myself, i hate myself!!! arrgh!!! was tossing on my bed ytd night tinking abt my dnt project... i juz cant have peace in my mind... i guess i'll remain litat until the day when my O Level results are out... y cant i plan properly? y am i so enthu, too enthu!!!, wanting to gt my workpiece done asap, without even tinking?! to tink tt im actually a dnt student... and toad had been telling mi off for not planning properly... i told myself again and again tt i've got to learn to plan properly. so wat if i brought my whole workpiece back home? i cant do anithing wif it... cant even find a washer tt can fit in the nut. shit!!! i still have my folio to do... wat the hell!!! so mani things!!! and the submission date is getting nearer!!! time will nv pause juz for mi!!! and i hate it when ppl keep on saying dnt is ez all tt bullshit!!! esp ppl frm e2 and e1... dey tink we tek dnt coz we're poor in sci and math... whenever i mentioned abt my dnt, dey will definitely sae: dnt is ez wat... y sae so hard?" pls lar, its nt ur sec1 and sec2 those kind of kids' play ok? it requires alot of tinking and planning and flexibility ok? u said u tek dnt b4 and u find it ez... so wat if i tell u i took art since i was in nursery and i always scored well in tis sub? dey are not the same ok? smtimes pls dun be so stubborn and assume things in ur way... i am damn pissed off... sry if i sound so sarcastic... esp aud. coz u tek art oso... bt im bt trying to offend anione... its juz my emotions...

aniway, managed to slp after 3hrs of tossing on my bed... den my stupid korkor called my hp at 5 to ask mi hlp him to open the door's chain at 1st... fine... i opened and went back to slp... den after tt he called mi again and asked mi to open the door to let him in coz he forgot to bring his keys... sian 1/2... nxt time if u wan to ton outside, pls remember to bring ur keys ok? thnk god i did nt ignore u and let u slp right at the doorstep or mek u go jing san ling lim more kopi until morning...

msn still nt ok yet... came online cant find the blogskin i wan... listened to graduation and browsed through our np pics and those cozy smses and testis... realli wished tt we could turn back the time, juz for awhile and im contented... haiz... heard ppl commenting abt np ytd and i juz replied back: u tok too much..." cant stand ppl speaking ill abt np... and im sure u wun lyk it when ppl mocked at ur cca right? so pls put urself into other ppl's shoes... i was so delighted when i heard frm raf tt guowei actually said tt he lyk our squad best, coz we're all made up of diff kinds of characters... was trying to c whether graduation lyrics fit us anot... and i found out tt it actually did...

And so we talked all night about the rest of our livesWhere we're gonna be when we turn 25I keep thinking times will never changeKeep on thinking things will always be the sameBut when we leave this year we won't be coming backNo more hanging out cause we're on a different trackAnd if you got something that you need to sayYou better say it right now cause you don't have another dayCause we're moving on and we can't slow downThese memories are playing like a film without soundAnd I keep thinking of that night in June I didn't know much of loveBut it came too soonAnd there was me and youAnd then we got real blueStay at home talking on the telephoneWe'd get so excited, we'd get so scaredLaughing at ourselves thinking life's not fairAnd this is how it feels

[1] - As we go onWe rememberAll the times weHad togetherAnd as our lives changeCome WhateverWe will still beFriends Forever

So if we get the big jobsAnd we make the big moneyWhen we look back nowWill our jokes still be funny?Will we still remember everything we learned in school?Still be trying to break every single ruleWill little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbyeKeep on thinking it's a time to flyAnd this is how it feels[Repeat 1]

La, la, la, la:Yeah, yeah, yeahLa, la, la, la:We will still be friends foreverWill we think about tomorrow like we think about now?Can we survive it out there?Can we make it somehow?I guess I thought that this would never endAnd suddenly it's like we're women and menWill the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?Will these memories fade when I leave this townI keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbyeKeep on thinking it's a time to fly

[Repeat 1 (3x)]

we were chatting wif one another during our last annual camp... the feeling was so close... for the past 4 yrs, its the 1st time we actually sat together as a squad and chatted happily. did stupid things and cracked silly jokes, talking abt our future... and its during the night in june... :S its onli den we started to treasure the times we had together, and cried so hard... as if the harder we cry, the higher the possibility tt we can return to the past... we started sending each other smses and testis, and organised gathering... all these are to maintain our strong bonding... and after leaving fajar sec after our Os, will we actually remember all these wonderful memories? the lyrics juz fit so much... almost every single wrd triggers my memory... and i luv tis phrase:

"I keep thinking that it's not goodbyeKeep on thinking it's a time to fly"

its not gdbye... its time for us to fly... we had been complaining tt our potentials are not being recognised by the CIs and TOs... so, its another path for us to prove to dem our ability. and congrats to raf and jolyn hu managed to 'fly' one step ahead of us... =) dun gt too proud, eh? coz the rest of the 9th batch ncos are catching up!!!

LIWEN, JIA YOU!!! YEAH!!! JIA YOU!!!